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ANSWERED QUESTIONS

QUESTION: Is there a way I an be a sugar baby & not sleep with the client? (21/05/24)

ANSWER: Use a hairdryer on your pleasers for 5-10 minutes to warm them up and make the material more malleable. Then put them on to wear them. This should help mould them to your feet and make them fit more comfortably.

Blister Band-Aids are also great at providing some padding in areas that are a bit hard and painful still.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Intel on touring US please. Just key points on best ways to take deposits ;how to deal with cash received from working there (as an Australian I don’t have a US bank account); and best ways to screen clients (is it referencing or other ways?) many thanks Bigger Sisters? (28/05/24)

ANSWER

DEPOSITS:

  • International bank transfer using Wise (with a business bank account and the address of the banking branch instead of your personal address).
  • Gift cards such as Prezee.
  • Onlyfans other content creation websites (just be careful as this is against toc and remember to factor in the cut taken by these sites).
  • Wishtender and other gift websites (just be careful as this is against toc and remember to factor in the cut taken by these sites).

HOW TO DEAL WITH CASH:

  • Use services like Western Union to send money to your Australian accounts.
  • Buy high ticket resell items that retain their value such as designer handbags.
  • Deposit into crypto using an in-person crypto exchange.
  • Buy giftcards that work internationally.

SCREENING:

  • US workers use similar screening techniques to Australian workers, by using references and forums, as well as checking identification details against linked in profiles or other social media accounts. The US also has a wider public access to criminal record information, so many US workers also check criminal record databases.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: How can I protect my identity as a sex worker? (28/05/24)

ANSWER: There are many different ways to protect your identity as a sex worker here are some tips:

  • Blur your face in online images
  • Create a sex work alias and do not tell anyone in the industry your real government name.
  • Register your business name as something other than your SW alias, the more vanilla sounding the better.
  • Apply to suppress your ABN.
  • Have a dedicated SW phone that you use to access social media and websites associated with sex work. Do not access your personal socials using the same devices, this disrupts the social media sites from associating both profiles with the same device and prevents suggestion of your work profiles to personal contacts.
  • Remove any photos of yourself online associated with your real name. Do not allow your friends and family to tag you in images they post and remove all of your tagged images. If you have to have personal social media do not use any of the same photos you use for sex work.
  • Put all of your personal socials on the most private setting possible and be careful about who you allow access to these profiles.
  • Clean your metadata.
  • Open a business account in your business name and only receive and make transfers through this account.
  • Do not post photos outside your residence or car or in front of any windows that show distinctive location features (such as a famous building or landmark).
  • Do not post anything concerning your location as a live post. If you are having dinner somewhere and want to take a snap for Instagram, save it and post it after you leave.
  • If you have an iPhone turn off data sync and airdrop found in settings under Airdrop.
  • If you use Chrome browser or another browser that utilizes profile settings make sure you only access sex work related sites through your sex work linked profile.
  • Always save your sex worker contacts by their sex work alias.
  • Always check app permissions before downloading them.
  • Make sure your devices have non-recognisable names for Bluetooth and hotspot.
  • Create a sex worker back story that differs from your real life back story and don’t reveal personal details (such as where you went to school, where you were born ect) to clients.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Is there a way I an be a sugar baby & not sleep with the client? (21/05/24)

ANSWER: This is a rare thing. It does happen but it is not the norm for sugar relationships, and if they happen, they’re more likely to happen out there in the wild, especially if you’re rolling in higher socioeconomic circles.

Sugar daddies are clients. They may be seeking a more long term closer intimate relationship with more social time expectations than regular SW clients. But they are still clients seeking the services of sex workers.

Sugar babies are sex workers. Yes some fall into relationships with Sugar Daddies (or SD’s) that do not involve sex.

But is this the norm or should you enter the sugaring world expecting that will happen to you? No.

There may also be issues of internalised whorearchy that is telling you having sex with a client is “gross” or makes you feel ashamed. Unpack that.

If you aren’t ready to deliver sugar, maybe the sugar bowl isn’t for you. If you want more control in a sex work dynamic, you might want to look into domme work although this is a whole other ballgame and skillset.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Just started at the broth, what are some things I should keep in my locker? (21/05/24)

ANSWER: Here’s my list of things that are helpful to keep in your brothel locker:

– Handbag

– Heels

– Phone charger

– Condom bag + condoms

– Toy bag + toy chargers/batteries

– Water bottle

– Deodorant

– Perfume/body sprays

– Multiple outfits + underwear

– Outfit for an outcall (Dress + coat + non pleaser heels)

– Scrunchies/hair-tie

– Hairbrush

– Dry Shampoo

– Make-up

– Band-aids

– Hand sanitiser

– Toy cleaner spray

– Razor

– Toothbrush + toothpaste

– Body wash

– Baby wipes

– Hair straightener/curler

– Blanket/Oodie to keep warm in the back room

– Snacks

– Painkillers

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Tips for going across international borders as a SW please. (21/05/24)

ANSWER: If travelling international, and especially to countries that have not decriminalised sex work, here are some generalised tips to get over the border safely.

– Use a VPN to find the top advertising sites in your destination city.

– As international tours can be costly, you may want to gather interest before financially committing to the trip and taking on the personal risk of crossing borders. To gather interest, you can trial a ‘ghost’ tour. A ghost tour is when you advertise for that area, to get people to contact you and to screen them to your satisfaction. You then pull down the ads when you’re satisfied with the interest, and organise to see those clients privately at a later date. This minimises the risk of exposure when crossing borders.

– If advertising for an international tour, never put in the actual dates you’ll be there, as you’ll basically be notifying the wrong people about when you’ll be when. Use alternative dates and only reveal the true dates once a client is screened or verified.

– Similarly, do not give the exact location or accommodation you’ll be staying, as this could be border control or officials posing as clients. Use alternative location or only reveal the true location once the client is screened or verified.

– Pull down/deactivate your advertisements, content creation accounts and your social media accounts while you’re crossing borders.

– Don’t carry too much equipment, outfits or tools that can suggest you’re a worker such as lingerie, condoms, sex toys, pleasers etc, in case your bags are checked. You can buy this kind of stuff when you’re safely across the border.

– Make sure you have a backstory and a supportive itinerary (including return ticket) prepared on the chance immigration pulls you up. For example: ‘I’m coming to visit my old schoolfriend, and we’ll be going to Disneyland, here’s my Disneyland tickets and my plane tickets to go back home.’ Having no story or plans can raise eyebrows, not necessarily because they suspect you’re a sex worker, but it can give them reason to dig deeper.

– Buy your tickets, access directories and ads, and book your flights using a VPN.

– If wanting to travel with less than 10k cash, you may want to deposit any excess cash into a cryptocurrency ATM (if you have a crypto wallet). Other people buy goods that do not lose value with cash, such as gold or designer handbags, that they sell once back home.

– You may want to mail your work phone to your hotel before you cross the border.

– Scrub your devices of sex work related activities before crossing the border. Be mindful not to be too clean, as this can also look suspicious.

– When going across the border, tone down your appearance. Don’t draw attention to yourself by wearing expensive clothes or looking too fashionable. Rehearse your backstory.

– In the worst case scenario, if you are pulled up by immigration and asked if you’re a sex worker, it is usually best to deny you are one, no matter what evidence you’re confronted with. This is generalised advice as admitting to guilt or confessing is permanently marked on your record. You can be held for up to 48 hours, and it is not legal to hold immigrants indefinitely. You will be asked to buy a flight back home after you confess or after 48 hours.

– Try not to enter a country through one of their most popular airports. For the US for example this would be JFK or LAX. Fly into a less popular international airport instead and make your way to your destination through flying domestic.

– Make sure your passport is updated and attempt to use an e-gates over person staffed counters. Robots are less likely to ask you questions.

LEGAL ADVICE DISCLAIMER: Please note this advice is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified legal professional with any questions you may have regarding your legal rights

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I want to start offering overnight booking but the issue is I snore. I thought I only snored on nights when I was extra tired, but my partner just informed me that it's most nights. I'm thinking I still offer overnights but I inform the clients that I snore, before they make any firm decision to book me or pay money. I'm wondering if this is enough or should I be lowering my price to compensate. I'm wondering if anyone else has this issue & how the deal with it for overnights? (14/05/24)

ANSWER: Absolutely do not entertain the idea of reducing your rates because of snoring.

This is a tricky situation but here are some tips:

– Request a separate room for sleeping from the client. Explain that this is for the clients comfort as you’ve been told you can be disruptive in your sleep.

– Consider doing short overnights that are more like a half night and don’t include sleeping. Or active overnights where you charge higher for no sleep time.

 – Try sleeping with a few pillows under your head to tilt your head up, this helps to stop you snoring.

– Try some snoring tips, there is sprays, sleep apnoea machines, devices that sit in the nose to help stop snoring.

We do not suggest lowering your rates or informing clients if you are not comfortable doing so. Just because you snore doesn’t mean clients will still not want to spend time with you in an overnight capacity.

Many clients snore too. We are all just human.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Showering: I'm a FSSW & I always ask my clients to have a shower before starting the intimate part of a booking, I know some SW will shower with their client as part of a GFE & I will if asked, but my usual & preferred thing is to stay in my sexy lingerie for them that little bit longer & to instead do things like having them walk out of the bathroom to a little visual surprise if you know what I mean. However the thing that has started to concern me is we all know not all men shower properly (I only see men) so I don't know for sure if their really washing ALL their bits or even using the soap or not. I'm wondering what advice you may have & what other SW do regards to showering? I usually leave them alone in the shower. (14/05/24)

ANSWER: Unfortunately, this is a very common problem, some tips to encourage them may include:

– Have a clean wash cloth available for each new client placed in your shower and instruct them to use the wash cloth with soap around their genital and anal region. You can check to see if the wash cloth is wet after they have showered. This can’t guarantee they will use it properly, but if its dry you know they haven’t used it at all.

– Have a sign in your bathroom instructing clients on what they need to do for example: 1. Please wash your whole body, with a focus on the genital and anal region. 2. Please use the mouthwash that has been provided, and so forth. You can easily make the sign by printing or handwriting your instructions and popping them in a nice frame.

– Have specific instructions on your website in a policies section, for example: “Health and Hygiene Policy – all clients are expected to shower upon arrival. Please make sure you are washing thoroughly…”. Send a link to your policy section to clients after they have confirmed their booking asking them to familiarise themselves with your policies before your booking.

– Remind them that if they have not washed sufficiently they will be put back in the shower, and if after two showers they have still not achieved the desired hygiene standard they will be asked to leave. Anytime you have a policy that results in the session being terminated make sure to have it listed on your website so clients know what to expect.

Other tips:

– Say you’re trying a new soap and you’re wondering what others think of it. Men love sharing their opinions, ask for their opinion about using hygiene products provided.

– You can say that you have sensitive skin and the soap provided is the only one you won’t react to. This helps for clients who insist they’ve just had a shower.

– Be sure to specifically and verbally point out the order of hygiene products. For example, ‘This is the shower, here is a scrub for you to use with the liquid or bar soap, your preference. There’s also mouthwash for afterwards, please just rinse after use’ and so forth. This will coach them on your expectations.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: My boyfriend wants me to quit escorting but I love this job but I love him too. I’m so lost and I don’t know what to do, do you have any advice? I feel so alone? (14/05/24)

ANSWER: Unfortunately, almost every single SW you ask will have a story like this & I can guarantee that 99.9% of them will all give you the same answer. He’s not the one for you.

I understand its a very conflicting situation to be in, so some things you might want to consider are:

– Is he willing to support you financially until you find alternate income? This includes: rent, food, utilities bills like water, electricity, phone/internet etc. Please note: this is not a safe long-term plan, more so until you can get established in another industry, never rely on anyone to support you long-term. It is also a measure to assess whether your partner is willing to put in the work to help you transition or if they’re just trying to control you for their own benefit. 

– Would he be willing to give up his job if you asked him to because it makes you uncomfortable? If he wouldn’t – why is the same expected of you?

– Does he have a valid reason for asking you to quit or is it based on whorephobic perceptions of the sex work?

At the end of the day sex work is work, albeit work that is often considered out of the ordinary for many folks. It’s normal for people with no experience of the industry to have some misconceptions or fears, try to talk with him about any misconceptions he may have and share educational resources from the perspective of sex workers – like the Bigger Sister Channel podcast where we often interview sex workers about their experiences in the sex industry. One good resource is this post by Christian Vega (https://christianbvega.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-date-sex-worker.html).

If he is wanting you to quit because of his own issues, like jealousy or insecurity, please encourage him to seek therapy with a sex work friendly therapist or consider attending couples therapy together. You will find those who leave the industry to satisfy a partners insecurities oftentimes find the insecurity unresolved because it’s not the sex work that’s the issue, it’s them. It can also be helpful for him to talk to a partner of another sex worker who is in a loving and healthy relationship – this will give him a chance to ask any questions he may have without a chance of hurting your feelings, as well as providing a safe space to talk with someone who may have experienced similar feelings.

Unfortunately the majority of sex workers who have been in these situations do not end up in a happy relationship with men who have asked them to leave the industry. A person who truly loves and supports you probably wouldn’t ask you to give up something you love doing. If you do leave there’s a high chance you’ll end up resenting him for making you leave and then when you break up (because again, healthy relationships don’t have ultimatums like this) you’ll not only be left alone, but with no financial backup plan.

I know you might feel like this type of relationship is the best you will ever get or what you deserve, but it’s not. There are plenty of sex workers with happy, supportive, healthy partners who love them. You deserve to be a relationship with someone that loves and supports you, don’t settle.

Please note as well, this may be a potential red flag for family violence. If this was any other job and your partner was pressuring you, or encouraging you to quit your job, there would be no question that it is a form of control and isolation. There is no reason this doesn’t apply to sex workers also, as sex work is real work. If a partner might be dealing with jealousy or insecurity, that is up to the individual experiencing the jealousy and insecurity to work on their own jealousy and insecurity – not expect you to quit your job to ‘solve’ their own issues. Their need for power and control to fix their own jealousy and insecurity isn’t likely to end there, and if you quit and your partner is then financially taking care of you, you are then at risk of further abuse including financial abuse.

Please find attached Duluth power and control wheel which outlines how people can exercise control and power over an individual. You can see in multiple areas that asking your partner to quit their job is a form of isolation and control. We have also attached the power and control wheel that is specific to LGBTQIA+ relationships.

Whatever you choose, do what you feel is the best for you, not him.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Could you share methods for international clients paying fees please ? I have heard Wise but if registering as a personal account, clients will be able to see my real name. Thank you (07/05/24)

ANSWER: You have a few options, if you’re in Australia. Here are some ideas:

– Gift cards. Prezzee (https://www.prezzee.com.au/) Australia online is where those from other countries can buy gift cards that have versatile use. These gift cards can be used for groceries, Ubers, Uber Eats etc. You don’t have to provide any personal details, only an email address.

– An old-fashioned way, and if you have a safe address you can give clients, you can get them to send a cash deposit through the mail (usually hidden within another item like a book).

– If you have a business bank account, you should be able to do an international bank transfer with your business account details rather than your personal account. Keep in mind, these transfers can take up to 48 hours. Some banks require personal details, but not all.

– While Wise is quite fast, but you do have to provide personal details. One way to get around this is by setting up an account for a trusted person who doesn’t mind sharing their name, such as a (probably male) friend. Alternatively if you have a business account you can use Wise with the name of your business (instead of your name) and use the banks address instead of your own.

– Some sex workers use other websites to accept deposits, for example if they have an Onlyfans, through their Onlyfans account (discreetly, as you’re technically breaking terms by accepting deposits in this way).

– Alternatively, something like Wishtender can accept deposits. Again, you’ll put a ‘gift’ on there discreetly, and you wouldn’t announce this is the way you accept deposits. Be discreet on the website and don’t post it on social media as an option because again, it’s against the terms.

Avoid Paypal or any other money exchange platform that has a reputation for discriminating against sex workers.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I want to get into SW. What regrets do you have that I need to consider? (07/05/24)

ANSWER: Regret is not a word we at Bigger Sister Channel would like to use. But advice we would give to those starting sex work or considering it is:

— If experiencing hesitations or uncertainty about your capacity to provide services, test your ability to do the work in low stake environments. This might be a brothel shift, it could be putting a low-maintenance ad online (where you haven’t spent months on marketing and thousands on photoshoots to brand build) or a sugar daddy relationship. The last thing you want is to setup a business for a job you’re not cutout for.

— Speak to an accountant from the get go, organise yourself to declare and operate as a business. You’ll appreciate it later.

— Don’t let the thrill of large cash influxes in your early days put stars in your eyes. Put money aside for the quiet days, they always come, start yourself an emergency fund and put aside money to pay tax.

— Don’t internalise the advice of others. Yes, learning from your peers is an excellent part of this industry. But don’t let the words of others decide your prices, services, branding. Do what feels right for you and don’t limit your belief in what you’re capable of.

— Listen to your gut. Spidey senses are real and will save your life.

— Truly consider the risks of going face out or not. It is permanent and can affect your life, future careers, risks of being outed to civilian friends and family, travel abilities. Have a good think and decide whether it is right for you. Don’t rush into it.

— If your time in the industry is temporary, make efforts to hide your identity and likeness in photos. Don’t volunteer information about what you’re doing, not even to trusted friends or clients. In romantic relationships, you could be honest but this doesn’t always play out favourably or supportive for you. Exercise caution and discretion when sharing temporary truths because it can effect your future.

— Don’t buy a million things. You don’t need a lot to get started. Don’t buy 100 condoms and 30 lingerie sets and so forth. You don’t have to advertise everywhere. Buy the bare minimum until you get a feel for the work and feel confident to take your business to the next level.

— Figure out your services, prices and boundaries before you put yourself into a booking setting. Don’t let clients expectations dictate these things for you because in a real-life setting you’re probably more likely to lean towards appeasing your client than honouring what works for you. It’s important you consult with yourself about what you’re willing to do and for what, before you’re forced to.

We will be hosting an online roundtable on advice for Newbie Sex Workers August 6th, you can RSVP here. This will answer any specific questions you, or others in a similar boat to you, have.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: How do you get an anonymous number? I don't want clients to trace it back to my legal name? (07/05/24)

ANSWER: In Australia it isn’t really possible to have an anonymous phone number. From our understanding, it’s only under very specific circumstances that a phone provider would hand out your legal name, and usually it’s only to government agencies (there are both state and federal laws that describe these privacy exemptions). How someone might link your legal name to a phone number is when companies sell user information. For example if you sign up for a website, do shopping or use a service online and you use you legal name with your phone number, those two peices of information become linked, and then perhaps that information can be sold or hacked to another company. So first, make a mental note to never mention your legal name with using your work phone number (this is why many workers have two different phones as data mining can work in weird and mysterious ways).

You could ask a friend or family member to register your work phone in their name. You could use an app number, but this is a tactic more popular in the US than Australia. (Like listed here)

Can someone google your phone number and find out your name you registered it with? No, not so easily.

Some tactics to keep your identity safe with your phone number:

– Check what your number is saved under via True Caller and similar apps.

– Have a brand new (clean) sim number for work you don’t use for anything else.

– Do not attach that number to your regular social media or non work related life.

– Have a different clean number you use for hotel reservations etc when touring.

– If you want to be even more security conscious, you can use a secure email (such as protonmail) on your ads and only give your phone number out after clients have confirmed (this however will likely affect how many bookings you get as many clients like to communicate primarily over text).

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I’m not an Australian sex worker, can I still come to the online workshops? (30/04/24)

ANSWER: If you are in Australia, on tour or having moved here, and are a sex worker, then yes of course you can attend the workshops.

As long as we can verify you via your work ads or socials or via a peer we can also verify.

We have also had international workers come to our online roundtable workshops, which is open to all sex workers worldwide.

As long as we can verify you as a sex worker, you are welcome to attend.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Do you have any tips on transitioning from broth to indie work? (30/04/24)

ANSWER: This can be a stressful process.

Some tips from us:

– Don’t feel you need expensive photoshoots to transition to private work, a small shoot with a photographer or a selfie shoot with friends, is all you need to start off

– Write out what you want to offer, rates you feel comfortable with, and create your ad from there. Looking at the ads of other peers who are similar to you helps to see what is the “norm”. Don’t copy others ads, only use for inspiration.

– ChatGPT is also an excellent tool to help with ad copy. We also have a future proofed copywriting workshop on our website for your perusal. 

– Enjoy the ‘new worker’ rush but keep money aside for tax and ads. Seeing an accountant to set up your ABN and tax system is also an excellent idea.

– Diversify your advertising, try a few different directories and see what works for you.

– Try not to apply broth rules or norms to indie work, it’s a whole different ballgame. You can usually charge more, but you have more responsibilities, like managing your ads, communications, security, location and so forth. The extra work will seem discouraging at first, but once you get into a rhythm, many find the transition worthwhile.

Mostly, enjoy the freedom of being in control of your business now 100%.

We are also running a workshop on just this topic.

Come to our ‘Newbie SWers: What to know when getting started Roundtable’ on August 6th 1 – 3pm, fully online, to discuss this topic with your peers.

You can RSVP now on our website here.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I’m inept at social media marketing, feels like taking me ages to build any followers and they soon unfollow me (X and Instagram). I wonder if social media is really necessary apart from showing you are real and legit? The few clients I did get from socials proved to be hard work and fickle. I notice there are ladies who don’t have socials at all and seem to have been in the game for a while. What do you think? Adding to my previous question re social media - I’m sick of seeing likes from same followers yet they never book (cos had they booked they would have told me during booking). I feel like it’s all about providing free selfies and entertainment. I maintain socials to show I’m legit, but wish they don’t exist? (30/04/24)

ANSWER: Social media can be useful as you have said in proving your ‘legitimacy’ to clients. Its also a good way to demonstrate your personality and interests. Some providers enjoy social media and do find quality clients through it, however it’s definitely not necessary for success as a FSSW. Social media however can be very useful for connecting with peers and learning important information about issues that affect the sex work community.

In regards to building followers, the peak time for Instagram and X as platforms is over. Its extremely difficult to build a following on Instagram without paying, as they have switched their business model to cater to paid advertisers. X poses it’s own set of problems for algorithmic instability.

If you do want to maintain social media to maintain legitimacy in the eyes of clients, don’t worry too much about follower count. If you don’t feel its worth your time or affecting your bookings don’t feel obliged to keep using it.

Follower count doesn’t convert into bookings. You could have 100 followers and if each of them booked you, you’d be set for the year. Some workers have 100k followers and hardly get booked. With that said, make social media an enjoyable place for yourself. Don’t post things you don’t want to, if you don’t want to share a selfie, just take images/videos of your food or the sights to appease the algorithm. Share what you’re comfortable sharing, like your opinions and thoughts or experiences. It doesn’t have to be a chore if you make it an enjoyable experience for yourself.

You don’t have to do this, but if you aim to have a career in sex work, then it helps build a positive track record of your consistency, dedication, and legitimacy as a provider.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Tips on how to reduce shaving rash? (23/04/24)

ANSWER: Sudocream is great for immediate relief as its a zinc based nappy rash cream but works for inflammation (also includes pimple/acne as spot treatment) or even QV sensitive clay mask after shaving.

You can also get Bump Eraser triple action lotion form Chemist Warehouse or Priceline. Using an exfoliating glove before & after shaving with a shaving cream or foaming soap can also help limit shaving rash or razor burn.

Laser can be more expensive up-front, but offers a more permanent solution. However laser is only effective for certain skin and hair types, so please seek advice from a professional before considering this option.

If you know of any further suggestions, feel free to comment it in our Ask us Anything Box.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Ive scoured forums, Reddit, Respect QLD etc and struggle to find much about screening. I have SW friends but not in the way of fssw. Is it just a case of screen what you can and risk safety (I realise this question comes with massive privilege)? (23/04/24)

ANSWER: Many screening resources are kept away from prying eyes for workers safety. But we can provide more clear advice if you contact us via our social media platforms or website.

What we can say publicly is that how you screen is your own business. Some people don’t screen, some people ask for references of other workers clients have seen, or deposit and ID or a utility bill (if an outcall for instance). Some get creative, asking for business cards, LinkedIn profiles, or images of cash for booking.

Reach out to your local peer org, if that is Respect QLD you can contact them here: https://respectqld.org.au/contact-us/

They will have resources and info relevant to QLD that they can offer you.

There is no shame in not having the privilege to screen or not screening how others do. There is no shame in having strict screening rules and requiring ID from all clients before a booking. Do what makes you feel safe and secure.

We will be discussing the topic of screening and being new to the industry in our Newbie Workers roundtable, you can RSVP to it on the website here.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Any tips for FSSW for coping with well-endowed clients? I already use lots of lube, but I often still end up feeling really sore afterwards? (23/04/24)

ANSWER: There are a few things you can do both before and after to prevent and help recover from soreness.

BEFORE & DURING

– Lube – as you say you already use plenty of lube which is great, a further way to make the most of your lubrication is by using a insertion tool that ‘pumps’ the lube deeper inside than can be achieved through an external application. They can be bought at sex shops or online, look up ‘lube applicator.’ Please be sure to trial water based or silicon lube to see which one works best for you.

– Positions – some sexual positions are more likely to cause pain when dealing with a larger penis. Positions that allow the penis to be inserted deeper, such as doggy style or having the receiver put their legs on the shoulders of the giver, should be avoided. Try to aim for positions where you feel as if you have more control, such as being on top with the use of pillows to help control you body positions and depth of insertion.

– Foreplay & Dirty Talk – make sure you are as warmed up as possible and encourage your client to take it slow. You can build this into the intimacy of the booking through suggesting activities like starting with an erotic massage to build tension, as well as acknowledging the size of their anatomy in a sexy way, saying things like “oh you’re so big” “take it slow I want to feel all of you” ect.

– Penis Bumper Toys – for various reasons this may not be applicable necessarily in a full service context, but for a trusted regular, sugar daddy or in civilian life, you may want to suggest using a penis bumper toy. These are sexual aids often made of a soft silicone material with a hole in the middle designed to be slid down the shaft of the penis with the aim of reducing the insertable length without compromising the pleasure of either party. Many of these bumper toys can be worn over external condoms and some come with extra pleasure based features such as the inclusion of vibrating elements. These can be purchased from sex shops or online, look up ‘penis bumper toy.’

– Examine why – although it may be normal for there to be some discomfort when dealing with incompatible anatomy (big p, little v), if you are consistently having this issue with penis in vagina sex it may be due to an underlying health issue such as vaginismus or vaginal atrophy. If this issue is causing you ongoing distress please consider seeking the help of medical professionals.

AFTER

– Soothe – the sore feeling you may get after penis in vaginal insertion is usually caused by microtears. Pain can be managed by taking over the counter anti-inflammatories and using vagina safe soothing creams externally (such as those intended to sooth irritation related to thrush). Just like with other sore spots applying cold therapy to the area may also be soothing, to do this you can fill a condom with water and freeze it. Place a clean wash cloth between your body and the frozen condom with the condom running vertically from the vagina to anus (like you would a pad or a panty liner). You can slip one some comfortable underwear over the top to hold it in place. If it feels too cold add more layers between your skin and the frozen condom. DO NOT insert the condom internally or at any time place the condom directly on your skin as this could cause freezer burn.

– Explore alternatives – If this happens to you every now and then when confronted with a larger then average D, these methods should be enough to effectively mitigate the issue. However if this is an ongoing issue with D’s of any size it may be worth exploring alternatives to penis in vagina sex, whether this means changing the frequency of bookings, offering alternative services or exploring other types of sex work. If this is the case for you we would love to offer our support in transitioning fields, we have a number of upcoming and future-proofed Skillshare Workshops available that relate to starting in different types of sex work Creating Content at any size with Lex Leigh.

Please feel free to reach out via our contact form for further support.

Please note this advice is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I want to be a stripper but I can’t dance. Should I take pole lessons? (16/04/24)

ANSWER: You do not need to take pole lessons to be a stripper. Stripping is majority about creating sales through individual dances and rooms, this means the majority of your time will be spent on the floor talking to customers. Especially in places like Australia where we don’t have a big tipping culture stage sets (where you will be dancing on the pole) do not make you a great deal of money, so you really don’t need to learn how to do a million tricks to be a successful stripper.

If you don’t feel confident on the pole it can be helpful to take a pole class just for some pointers on things like walking around the pole, basic tricks and floor work. However this is definitely not necessary as these things can often be picked up on the job.

If you do want to invest in learning pole skills then pole classes can be a fun and effective way to do that. If you can, aim to attend pole classes taught by current or former strippers, this way you are supporting industry babes as well as learning moves that are club compatible.

See our previous answer from April 2nd to see more tips on starting at the strip club.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Is SEO something I should care about as a sex worker? (16/04/24)

ANSWER: We discussed this question in Natalia Violet’s workshop “Is SEO worth it for FSSWer’s?”.

You can peruse Natalia’s slides here.

In Natalia’s workshop she spoke about:

The basics of what SEO is. What good & natural SEO looks like. What factors influence your search engine ranking (ie Google) and how to check them on your own site. How to make sure your site isn’t being pushed down in search results. What scamming ‘SEO Specialists’ will try to sell you and why you don’t need it a an independent sex worker. Why Natalia doesn’t bother trying to improve their own SEO ranking, despite having professional experience. SEO for niche sex work providers. Does rebranding fix or ruin your SEO. Keywords choices to use & exclude for your own website. Mobile vs desktop websites plus more.

Check out her slides to learn more about SEO for Sex Workers.

The short of it is: SEO could be worth it, depending on your marketing model, but more likely you’ll get more value and exposure and exposure by engaging in other marketing strategies, like spending time with your peers or having a doubles partner.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: What kinds of things can I claim for tax purposes? (16/04/24)

ANSWER: The ATO has a whole section on their website listing what sex workers can claim.

Some of the basic deductions are:

Advertising, Travel fees (Flights, trains, Ubers to and from outcalls, if you pay a driver) * Accommodation, Photoshoots (Plus what comes with that, your outfits, your HMUA, your location, props, and more), Lingerie/Work clothes, Work phone (Including your phone bill), Rent and bills if you work from home (this is calculated off a percentage), Other electronics you purchase for work usage, Website/Domain, Business bank fees, international transaction fees you may pay for ads or to pay out your OF, Accountant fees, Costs of testing if you use services like Instant Scrips/Stigma Health, Agency/Club Fees, Consumables (Condoms, Dams, Lube, Massage Oil), Sex Toys/BDSM equipment for work, Subscriptions (Say you get a Canva subscription to make work ad posters or a Dropbox subscription to store your porn on, that’s deductible).

You can find all that info out on the ATO website here.

*In relation to travel costs – you cannot claim trips between your home and regular place of work. This means if you have a regular place of work (like a strip club, brothel or incall) trips between your home and these places of work are NOT tax deductible. Please see the link to the ATO page provided for further clarification.

You can ask about more specific items by attending any of our financial literacy workshops. If/when we have any upcoming, they can be found on our Skillsharing Page.  

Please note: Please note this is not financial advice as we are not qualified accountants, please speak to a CPA or financial advisor before applying this to yourself.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I think it would be so helpful to start a resource of SW-friendly contacts E.g. SW-friendly accountants, financial advisors, mortgage brokers, psychologists, etc. (maybe organised into each city). Is anything like this is the pipeline already? It could be opened up for all SWers to contribute to so we can all share our contacts and benefit from it, while helping us avoid encounters with judgmental professionals who stigmatise us and make us feel bad.? (09/04/24)

ANSWER: The team at Bigger Sister Channel agrees, we think this is a great idea.

We are currently developing a resource for sex worker friendly contacts – including accountants, financial advisors, psychologists and more. We are planning on releasing this resource to our community when we have launched the 2.0 version of our website (what you’re currently viewing is what we call the ‘bare bones’).

As we are still in the process of collating and verifying this information we are unable to release it in its current state, but if you have a specific need for a certain type of professional please reach out and we will do our best to point you in the right direction.

Similarly, if you have sex worker friendly services and contacts you’re willing to share with the community, please send them over to us through our contact form  to add to our collection.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: How do other ladies calculate FMTY prices & do the clients pay this plus travel costs on top? (09/04/24)

ANSWER: Generally, it is understood and accepted that the clients will be paying for the travel costs (flights, Taxi/Uber, ect) on top of the booking fee. Some workers create packages in which these costs are included under a comprehensive FMTY package price – however, these are often experienced providers who can calculate the average of incurred costs. If you are starting off in the FMTY world I would highly suggest your clients pay for the travel costs on top of the regular booking fee.

It’s up to you whether you price your FMTY rates as high as your standard rates. Many providers price FMTY bookings at the same price as their standard outcall rates, but implement a minimum booking time to ensure they are not losing out on other opportunities and to ensure the travel time is worth their while. This also incentivises clients to book, as they are already paying for your rates and travel costs, having a higher FMTY rate can be disincentivising. Many providers have at least a dinner date minimum (4 hours minimum) for FMTY bookings and many have an overnight minimum for FMTY bookings.

If you are ever curious about how to calculate your rates for specific booking types it can be useful to take a look at directory ads from other providers with similar market offerings. In saying this, it is never okay to word-for-word copy another providers ad, instead you should use it as inspiration only and create your own unique market offerings.

A final consideration to think of is your own enjoyment, especially for longer bookings. If you prefer day long bookings, you may want to offer an accessible rate to incentivise these bookings. If the client is known, low labour and easy effort for you, it may be worth considering a special package that you know they can afford and that you know will leave you feeling like you’re being valued for your time. Never undersell yourself, even if you really want to go on a trip, because it will lead to resentment for the job. The vice versa can be true; if you believe a client is high maintenance and labour, you may want to mark up your rates to compensate for the extra downtime it will require to unwind from seeing them.

Either way, there is no real ‘rules’ to how you calculate your FMTY rates. The general client expectation is that the longer they see you, the better value it is for them (but this may not be true for you as you may have pets or children). What’s most important is that you feel fairly compensated for the extra effort it takes to organise a FMTY, and that’s a subjective answer only you can answer.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I want to start offering golden showers but don’t know how to price them? Or how to do them properly? (09/04/24)

ANSWER: Golden showers can be super fun, but also messy.

I offer a ton, so here are my tips:

  1. Drink 1.5 litres of water at least an hour before hand. Drinking room temperature water quickly can help if you’re in a rush also. But it does take time for your body to process it to pee, keep this in mind.
  2. Always do the golden shower in the bathroom or in the shower/tub. It’s so much easier for clean up and helps if a golden shower is at the end of the session to then pop the client into the shower to clean up and finish off their time.
  3. I usually get clients to lie or kneel down in the shower and stand over them or pop a leg up and cover them in pee. Sometimes this includes humiliating talk at the same time, sometimes it doesn’t, mattering on the client. Some clients want you to pee in their mouth, some want the golden shower all over them, some want to jerk off during and some don’t. Ask your client what kind of golden shower they want.

Some clients will ask for a golden shower on the bed, I really recommend not doing this. Even with a mattress protector it will become super messy and not in a good way.

Golden showers are fun, make it a fun experience.

In terms of pricing, it really depends on your pricing and services structure. Golden showers are generally considered an extra or a fetish, that means you can charge them on top of your regular fee. Depending on your work setting you can charge anywhere between $50-$500. If you offer tiered services like GFE and PSE, you can make it inclusive of your PSE service and use that as a way to upsell a GFE into your PSE service. It’s personal preference and subjective to what you feel is fair compensation and how much you enjoy giving the service.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: How do working girls effectively deal with quiet weeks? (02/04/24)

ANSWER:

I usually take the time to get on top of any administration that I haven’t had the time to address or have been putting off.

This could be:

– Work on photos and marketing, either by taking selfies (check out our futureproofed photography workshop), or editing photos from previous shoots. I then use this material to spice up my ads or social media.

– Update any copy that needs updating, such as any ads or social media.

– Streamline my business processes such as writing template responses for missed phone calls, clients asking for services and rates and so forth, to save me time in the future.

Also I like to play with the law of the universe that says if I hyper focus on something else then I’ll get busy… Like when I order food at the brothel only for a client to come in and book while my food gets delivered and grows cold. You don’t have to focus just on business, but you can focus on other parts of your life.

Also I have to remind myself constantly that everyone has these weeks. Everyone. It’s not just me. I’m great at my job. It’s not me.

Keeping your spirits up is probably the most important part. No one wants to book a grumpy bum. And clients can tell a mile off when I’m not on it. So keeping that ‘I’m killing it’ attitude is key to getting out of your slow week.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I've just booked my first photoshoot for professional escort pictures and I really want to make the most of it. Could you give me some suggestions on what to bring? I'm nervous I will forget something important? (02/04/24)

ANSWER: That’s so exciting for you, photoshoots can be super fun and also super stressful.

Here are my go to tips on what to bring:

Makeup: Even if you are getting your makeup done professionally, I always bring my own kit for touch ups. Oftentimes it is lipstick that will change as the photoshoot progresses, I start off with light colours like pinks, then beige, before finishing with a dark red.

Tons of outfits, even some you think you may not use. Organise them and categorise them with sandwich bags, and prioritise what you definitely want to shoot, and what you’ll shoot with if you have extra time. This goes for shoes too, always have a few options.

Sometimes on the day an outfit is not working or looking the way you wanted, or you and your photographer come up with a random idea, it’s always good to have extra outfits.

Having them organised in bags helps your photographer keep on task and allows for quicker outfit changes also.

Also, bring some fun props, especially if you’re not confident with posing! Having an item to hold gives your hands an option to do something. Maybe that’s a glass of wine with a bottle of Dom, some flowers, or a riding crop, but whatever it is, it is sure to add a pop of pizzaz to your shoot.

Snacks: Honestly this is the most important. On shoot days I am always running around like a crazy person and forget to eat or hydrate and then fall in a heap at the end exhausted! You need sustenance to keep you going. Order food delivery to your shoot location, or bring with you lots of water, a strong coffee, and some easy to eat snacks you can pick at in between shots to keep you and your photographer going.

Miscellaneous: A pair of scissors can come in handy, always remember to cut your tags off your outfits for smooth lines in a shoot. A lint remover roller and steamer can also come in handy for those final touches. Sometime clear nailpolish is helpful if your stockings start to rip. If possible, you can bring in a friend for an hour or so to take behind the scene shots with your phone. I find these photos easier to access and post on social media than high quality ones from the photographer.

Another tip if you’re shooting nude (full or implied), try not wear underwear on the way to the shoot (about an hour before hand) so you don’t have lines on your body during the shoot & remove hair ties from your wrist.

Just have fun. Shoots can be stressful but they can also be fun, creative, and a way to explore different places to take your brand. Try to enjoy the process. The best photos happen when you relax into it.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Do you have any tips for starting in strip clubs & how to avoid problematic venues? (02/04/24)

ANSWER:

Firstly I can address your question about avoiding problematic venues:

Unfortunately strip clubs are often amongst the most problematic venues in the sex work industry. There is often higher amounts of racial profiling dynamics (ie. customers often group dancers by their race “I’m looking for a dance with an Asian dancer” ect), as well as high pressure to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards including pressure to have a certain hair and body type.

Australian strip-clubs are notoriously bad for pressuring dancers to be under a certain dress size (usually under a size 12) and may not want to hire dancers who are heavily tattooed or who divert too much from the “ideal” Australian beauty standard (ie. skinny and tanned). There can also be pressure at some clubs to under go plastic surgery such as breast augmentation or fat transfer.

In saying that however there are some venues that are more appreciative of diverse beauty and it is possible to get hired at these venues if you don’t fit the ‘standard’ body type.

The best way to find out about the culture at clubs you want to audition for is from word of mouth. Try to join private sex worker spaces on social media and reach out through your network for workers opinions on the best clubs to dance at. This involves understanding your strengths (which may be hard if you have never danced before, but it will come in time), some clubs favour more high energy poles performers and shows, whereas others are more favoured to sitting and talking with your customers for longer periods of time.

Don’t be afraid to audition at different clubs to try them out to find the best fit for you.

Secondly I can give you some tips for starting out:

– First and foremost, stripping is a sales job. You are an independent contractor working in the venue trying to sell dances, rooms and collect tips. Brush up on sales techniques, listen to podcasts, read books, watch YouTube videos – whatever you can do to help your sales skills will help you maximize your earnings. This may sound harsh, but if you are uncomfortable pushing sales stripping may not be the gig for you.

– Secondly, KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES. This cannot be overstated enough, customers will push your boundaries, they will do things they are not allowed to do. Understand what you are comfortable with and be firm in telling customers what they can and can’t do. If you feel uncomfortable telling a customer they can’t do something its always good to fall back on club rules – by appealing to an authority greater than yourself you can gain legitimacy in their eyes and divert their frustration away from you onto the club.

– In saying this, it’s also good to make sure you understand the rules of the club you are dancing in. All clubs share certain rules of etiquette – like don’t talk to another dancers customer whilst they are still engaged with them (even if they have been called for stage). Otherwise clubs will all have different rules about what is and is not allowed in terms of things like outfits you can wear, shifts you must roster on for and levels of touching from customers. Its very easy to accidentally break the rules and get fined or told off by management when you are new, so make sure you are clarifying and abiding by the rules.

– Learn some basic moves on the pole and on the floor. Stripping really isn’t about crazy pole tricks, they can be fun and attract attention from customers, but they are not essential to making money (especially in Australian clubs where we don’t have a big tipping culture). Whatever you are doing on the stage slow it down. There’s a tendency to move really fast when you are new and nervous, but slow and sexy wins the race. Watch other dancers and practise imitating their moves, and if its quiet and you are friendly with them, offer to tip them for pointers. But all in all, don’t worry too much about the dancing element, this will come in time and a lot of customers find clumsy dancing endearing.

– You will be in pain. There’s no other way to spin this. Your feet will feel like they are going to fall off and you will be covered in bruises. Stock up on arnica, magnesium and Epsom salts, you will need them. After a few weeks your skin will start to adjust and your Pleasers will start to mould to your feet. After dancing for a while you will learn which types of shoes are least likely to give you blisters and your muscles will acclimatise to the workout.

There’s so much more I could say, but at the end of the day try to have fun. Make sure to look after your physical and mental health, stripping, like any job, can be amazing or terrible, but having a positive mindset is essential to thrive at the club.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: I have seen some information floating around online about a new STI, called Mycoplasma? I don't think this is part of the standard STI screen, what should I ask to get tested for it and what are the symptoms? (26/03/24)

ANSWER: Mycoplasma and Ureaplasma are umbrella names for types of bacteria that live in the human urogenital tract (and other areas of the human body) that are easily transmitted through sexual contact. These bacteria can multiply and cause a multitude of health issues including (but not limited too): intense pain during urination, urethral pain, bladder pain, chronic UTI symptoms, increased risk of/chronic bacterial vaginosis (BV) infections and potential pregnancy complications. Medical reports show Mycoplasma/Ureaplasma infections are emerging within Australia and occur most commonly in the urethra (for folks with vaginas) and in the rectum (for folks who commonly engage in anal intercourse), but can also occur in the urethral tract of the penis.

Some doctors will include a screening for these bacteria on a standard screening (so double check your most recent results), but a lot won’t! If you are struggling with chronic UTI symptoms, chronic BV, are planning on becoming pregnant (or are currently pregnant) or have any of the symptoms mentioned above please get tested by asking your doctor for a vaginal swab (or urine sample for those with a penis or otherwise unable to give a vaginal swab) and/or rectal swab to test for the following:

Ureaplasma urealyticum Ureaplasma parvum Mycoplasma pneumoniae Mycoplasma hominis Mycoplasma genitalium (MG)

The treatment is usually easy and involves a course of antibiotics.

You can read more about Mycoplasma genitalium ******on the Scarlet Alliance Red Book resource here (https://redbook.scarletalliance.org.au/mycoplasma-genitalium/) or if you are interested in research being done around the prevalence of Mycoplasma genitalium in Australia you can read more about it here (CW: Gendered language https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5652440/)

Please note this advice is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: How often should I boost my ads? (26/03/24)

ANSWER:  There is no perfect answer. Boost your ads when you want to work, there is no “perfect time” nor is there a formula that works for everyone.

Boosting doesn’t mean you’ll immediately get work either. Sometimes available nows are better and cheaper to get you visibility on the specific site you are after. It’s really up to personal preference and something you learn over time in the industry, what the “peak” times are.

We will be discussing this further in our upcoming “how to diversify your advertising” roundtable workshop on March 27th! You can RSVP via our website at www.biggersisterchannel.com.au/rsvp/

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I'm in Melb and a Dr asked me to pay for a doctors certificate ($50) during my session at a bulk billed appointment. I've not heard of this before is this normal? (26/03/24)

ANSWER: Unfortunately this is legally allowed. According to Medicare when going to a bulk billed GP the only thing that must be covered under the bulk billing is the session itself. Requesting a doctors certificate is seen as an extra ‘service,’ for which they are allowed to charge a fee.

If the doctor is asking you to pay for a doctors certificate, payment should be taken at the end of the session at reception (never in the room with the doctor). This is so the payment can be tracked and invoiced. If you need the certificate for work purposes the cost can be tax deductible.

There are bulk bill doctors, however, that do include include the cost of doctors certificates, so please enquire with your doctor before visiting about which services are and aren’t included as bulk billed.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: I want to start offering fly to you services within Australia. Any advice you can give would be great appreciated (19/03/24)

ANSWER: This is a tough one to market to as there’s never a guarantee that client’s will book FMTY. As a start, I would suggest adding multiple locations to your ads (if the package you’ve purchased allows for it, otherwise you can add a little paragraph in your bio) By adding multiple locations, you’re now appearing to a wider variety of clients in these cities.

Next, I suggest working out your rates for FMTY & adding them onto your profiles. Travel (flights & Ubers) & accommodation costs are usually added on top, but that’s also completely depending on the arrangement you have with your client.

Depending on the booking length (ie. bookings for multiple days) it can be a good idea to have a chat to your client about expectations for personal time and sleeping arrangements. Make sure to let them know how many hours of sleep you are expecting to get in a night, whether you need your own room and that you will need a few hours per day for personal downtime.

Flying to your client also poses extra safety risks. Make sure a trusted friend knows your location at all times (you can live share your location through Google Maps and other location sharing apps) and make sure to keep in touch with them before, after, and during the booking (if you are booked for multiple days). Make sure you have enough money to book a hotel, or have a plan in place to stay with friends and family, if for any reason you have to leave the booking early.

It is also valuable to educate yourself on the legality of independent sex work at the location you will be flying too as different states in Australia have different requirements and risks for workers.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Are your workshops only open to FSSW in Melbourne? (19/03/24)

ANSWER:  No absolutely not. Some topics are geared at in-person workers (never only full service workers) as our presenters are often experienced in these areas, but our workshops are for all kinds of sex workers.

Whether you’re a sugar baby, stripper or topless waitress, online content creator, street worker, brothel or agency worker, fetish provider, or offer independent escorting/FSSW.

As long as we can verify you as an actual sex worker and you are a safe person to attend workshops, you are welcome.

Our current funding model only allows us to offer in-person workshops in Melbourne and online. However we are currently working on expanding into other Australian cities and have launched Admin Days in Brisbane.

If you are a sex worker in another Australian city please let us know if you are interested in having in-person Bigger Sister Channel workshops in your city so we know where to launch next, and if there is a topic we have not done yet that you are interested in seeing, please send in your idea to us via our website at www.biggersisterchannel.com.au

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Should I do a free Onlyfans and charge people higher PPV or should I do a paid Onlyfans with no PPV/low PPV? Which one do you think would generate a better profit return? (19/03/24)

ANSWER: There are a few things to consider when looking into payment structures of OnlyFans & its not a ‘one size fits all’ kind of strategy either. What works well for some, doesn’t necessarily work for others.

One thing to consider is the customers psychological frame of mind. People are less likely to spend higher amounts of money, or spend frequently, when they are in the mindset that the service is ‘free.’

Having an initial sign up fee, firstly, primes subscribers to spend and secondly, makes them feel like they are getting value for money to be able to access your content with low/no ppv (pay per view messages), as when they are scrolling your page for new content they don’t equate it with having paid the monthly fee.

For example, when you are scrolling through streaming apps looking for shows to watch you don’t think about the monthly fee you pay to be able to access those shows on Netflix, where as if you are scrolling through Prime and there is an option to watch a show for $5 you are less likely to choose this option (even if this end up being cheaper overall) because of the psychological barrier of having to actively spend money.

It can be beneficial to have a free page (with high ppv) and a paid page (with either a high initial sign up fee and low/no ppv or a lower initial sign up fee with higher ppv), as having a free page allows a wide range of subscribers to get taste of your market offerings, which can allow you to convert free subs to paid subs. Having a free page can also allow people who aren’t comfortable paying for a monthly subscription fee to purchase your content, but overall free pages to tend to make less money then paid pages, and I would say that the main purpose of having a free account would be to drive traffic to your paid accounts.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: I have a few things I need to sort out with the ATO and centrelink and I don't know how or where to begin. I am on the DSP and haven't told centrelink I have been earning money from SW for the past few years and I haven't paid tax either. I know what I have been doing is really wrong and I'm worried if I do tell centrelink or the ATO I will get into trouble. I feel so guilty about it and everyday it weighs me down. Is there someone I could get in touch with to sort out the legal side of my finances that won't judge that I have been breaking the law? (12/03/24)

ANSWER: There are amnesty schemes with the ATO which allow you to declare your past income, pay your tax liability and a penalty. Any past DSP income earned from Centrelink will have to be paid back with interest. The best way forward would be to meet with a tax agent who can talk to the ATO on your behalf and lodge all the outstanding tax returns.

Once that is done, you will have to speak with Centrelink as well, honestly speak about the DSP income you have been receiving. The good part is that both institutions offer payment plan options, which will reduce the burden of having to come up with the money straight away.

We can recommend a tax agent, please message us privately for the details.

Please note this is not financial advice as we are not qualified accountants, please speak to a CPA or financial advisor before applying this to yourself.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: I've been contacted by a new client that wants to pay me $8000 plus travel fees to fly to Perth for a 48 hr booking. I really want to do it as I need the $ but I'm worried as independent sex work is illegal in Perth. Can you offer any advice please? (12/03/24)

ANSWER: When looking at the Scarlet Alliance website, Australia’s peak sex worker national peer body, they state that private work is legal in Western Australia/Perth. What is illegal is working in a brothel. If you have further concerns about working in Perth please contact Magenta, the WA peer sex worker outreach organisation, at (08) 93281387.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: When starting doing BDSM do you need to buy every kind of fancy equipment? Where should you shop? (12/03/24)

ANSWER: We will be discussing this in our workshop with Mistress Electra Amore on March 21st. You can book in via our website here, www.biggersisterchannel.com.au/rsvp. The workshop will be about the best kink items for your toy bag and how to create your toy-bag, for beginners and experienced kinksters alike.

Here is some advice from Rain. Firstly, no you don’t need a dozen different kinds of fancy equipment to offer BDSM services. Sometimes in sessions you don’t even use equipment, your hands and mind are all it takes. The importance is safe equipment you know how to use. If you’ve never used an impact toy before don’t buy a cat o nine tails as your first one. Buy a simple paddle or leather flogger. Use Viraclean, Dettol cleaning wipes, toy cleaner, to clean your equipment. Buy body safe silicone sex toys. You can always start small & build from there.

Some excellent places to shop in are: Eagle Leather. Sax Leather. Lucrezia De Sade. Passionfruit. Club X. BeDaring.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: Is there a resource you have that would be helpful for survival SW when it comes to creating a budget? (27/02/24)

ANSWER: We are working on creating those resources but for now, let me give you some tips.

Firstly, write down the base expenses you need to meet every week. Rent, food, school fees or child care, petrol etc

The base amount you can survive on weekly. Then write a list of your larger monthly/yearly expenses, like car or health insurance, medical bills, other big bills, tax. What is the base amount you need to make each week to survive? What’s the amount you need to make to thrive?

Look into any sinkholes in your budget. Maybe you’ve been shopping at Coles or Woolies but could save a few $$ if you tried another store such as Aldi, IGA or farmers market, and purchased non-perishables in bulk (if that’s possible). Could you get creative and make some interesting meals with the supplies hidden in the back of your pantry? There’s many food banks around Australia also worth a visit, where they sell the same products but at a hugely discounted rate.

Cheaper Buy Miles and NQR is great for cheaper pantry items.

Do you have some forgotten subscriptions you could cut like Netflix or Spotify?

Can you call your electric, gas or telco company to start a payment plan, negotiate a better rate on your bills or potentially switch providers to help buffer your budget? Your state government should have a dedicated website to help you compare market offerings (just google ‘compare energy’ and the state you live in – make sure the address ends with .gov.au) or use this service provided by the federal government if you live in one of the listed states: https://www.energymadeeasy.gov.au/

Once you have these written out it will help you craft a budget.

Remember, when those good weeks happen (and they always do come around) try to put some extra money towards saving. Even If it’s a little, some buffer in a high interest savings account is better than nothing. There is no shame in only being able to save a small amount. Use those good weeks to buffer the hardship of a rough week upcoming, buy in bulk, pay off a bit a debt, invest in your business, make sure some money is not easily accessible and protect yourself from impulse decisions.

When we have a variable income it’s incredibly hard to budget.

When you know your base weekly needed income, it helps you to know what to prioritise. 

Bigger Sister Channel is facilitating a free online roundtable style Skillshare Workshop on How to Diversify your Advertising (including information on directories that allow you to post free and low-cost ads if you are a FSSW) on March 27th – 1-3pm AEDT, that may be helpful.

At the end of the day, there is no secret perfect answer to this question – everyone has unique barriers and situations that a one size fit all solution won’t work. But these are just some tips to get started. It is incredibly hard to budget when poor and incredibly hard to budget when on a variable and small income. We can only try our best.

There are also some great spreadsheet templates available for free on google if that is something that will help visualise your spending

(Disclaimer: Please note this is not financial advice as we are not qualified accountants, please speak to a CPA or financial advisor before applying this to yourself.)

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Is this really anonymous. (27/02/24)

ANSWER: Yes, any questions submitted through the Ask Us Anything box on the Bigger Sister Channel website or the NGL link on social media are completely anonymous & we have no way of being able to know who submits questions asked.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: This might sound weird but how do you wind down and go to sleep after a booking? (27/02/24)

ANSWER: It can be really difficult to switch ‘modes’ from work to personal, from on to off, especially for us neurodivergent/insomniac folks in the community. There are two main issues at play that lead to difficulty winding down:

1 ) Difficulty transitioning from one state or activity to another.

2) Difficulty with calming your nervous system.

Here are some tips for both:

Music & sound can help you transition states. I have certain playlists I will listen to, to get in and out of a work headspace. Listening to music that feels authentic can help you reconnect with your real self and out of a ‘work persona’ mindset. You can also utilize different HZ frequencies to help calm and relax your nervous system. If you are driving home from work it can help to loudly sing along to the music in the car, singing helps regulate your nervous system which in turn calms your mind and body. If possible, try to listen to work music only at work, and have a dedicated genre or playlist for winding down, to signal and train your body to switch.

Shower/bath – having a shower or bath after you get home can help you transition into another state. Bathing is often internalized as an indicator of a transition state – you go from sleepy-to-awake and ready for the day if you are a morning shower-er and daytime-to-sleepy if you prefer to shower at night. As your mind is likely familiar with this concept having a shower/bath can help indicate that you are mentally transitioning from one state of being to another. The heat of bathing also activates the parasympathetic nervous system which can make us feel sleepy. If you’re feeling particularly wired, try having a cold shower for a few minutes to shock your system out of this state

Give yourself enough time to wind down and don’t beat yourself up about it, some people take a few hours to wind down and some people can be asleep within 15 minutes. If you are in the former camp, accept this fact about yourself and don’t get angry at your body/mind for not working like other peoples. I’m sure you naturally excel in many other areas. If you take hours to wind down, keep track and note of your process, to increase your awareness of where you’re at. If you know it take two episodes of a TV show to wind down, and it’s taking five episodes this time, that you may need to introduce gentle interventions to get you back on track.

Journaling – our minds can often refuse sleep if we feel we have a multitude of mental tabs open. Try writing down your thoughts, feelings or just to-do lists for the next day. Your mind will be more relaxed if it feels it can “let go” of these thoughts and tasks.

Debrief – sometimes we need to talk about things to process them. If you can have a chat to your partner or friends (online or IRL) about the booking this can help your mind process the experience and move on. Sometimes people debrief vicariously by reading the experiences of others in similar positions, you might want to look at the social media of someone you feel connected to, read a book or article of a related topic, anything that makes you feel like your experience is being acknowledged.

 Intrapersonal reflection – many of us have been affected by trauma in our lives and suffer from nervous system de-regulation as a result. This can feel like being on high alert all the time, being extremely reactive to noises and racing thoughts. If any of this sounds familiar it can be beneficial to interpersonally reflect and seek out further resources such as learning about nervous system regulation and utilising therapeutic practices.

Supplements can be your friends, some people swear by melatonin, I personally like magnesium. There are many other sleepy time supplements to help you relax such as valerian and passionflower. As always when introducing new supplements do your own research and speak with your doctor about possible side-effects and interactions with any prescription medication.

Limit screens – I know you will hate this, but limiting screens before bed is immensely effective. I like to read before I go to sleep, some people like to meditate and some may listen to audio-book or podcast. If you really cannot live without the screen make sure its on night-mode to limit the emittance of blue light and limit yourself to comfort shows and non-stimulating media.

Move your body – gentle stretching, somatic exercises or yoga at the end of the day can help your body to relax any tension it is holding. Even if regularly exercising is not accessible to you, some sort of movement can calm the nervous system. Before bed, you might want to have a quick boogy, shake and jump around for 5 minutes, and if you have barely any physical energy left in you, but a surplus of nervous energy, you can lay in bed to your favourite song and dance on your back

Review your sleep hygiene. A quick Google will reveal the aspects that determine sleep hygiene, it may be worth visiting this concept to see if there’s any elements to sleep hygiene that can be improved for how you operate. For example, temperature is an element of sleep hygiene, and sometimes when you drink alcohol you will feel warmer. You might want to cool your room, or take a cold shower before to maintain your body temperature. Sleep hygiene is very personal, but there’s some generalised principles you can draw upon.

Interventions and rituals. Once you understand your habitual patterns before bed or winding down, you can begin customising and adjusting what you do and introducing interventions if needed. Know your general ritual before bed; taking off makeup, washing face, brushing teeth, flossing, mouthwash, three stretches before bed, doom scrolling for an hour etc. I have a system in place for when I’m out of sync with my ritual, for example, I know if I’m still awake after 2am, I’ll take a Valium, because I can tell my body is struggling. But before that, if I’m not asleep within an hour of trying to, I’ll get an icepack and place it on my chest. Or if I known I’ve drunk a bit that night, I’m might eat a protein ball to help my body recover.

Hope these tips help you and if you have any further tips to add, don’t be afraid to tell us so in the the Ask Us Anything Box.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: With protection: full service with HPV can we keep seeing clients? (13/02/24)

ANSWER: HPV is incredibly common. Family Planning NSW says it is estimated up to 80% of Aussies have HPV at some time in their lives. Many people don’t even know they have it and the body clears it up on its own, there is no testing for men but they can be carriers of the infection.

To protect yourself against HPV, as it is more concerning in AFAB people, you can get the Gardasil vaccine if you never did. It’s $200 per 3 shots or you can seek a referral to your local women’s hospital to get it to for free. It is also important to undergo regular Pap smears and cervical screenings.

Men can get the Gardasil vaccine too!

HPV can lead to genital warts in some strains but not always. It is spread through skin to skin contact, and condoms are not completely effective against HPV.

Yes HPV can be scary, it can lead to cancer. But it is not treated like other skin to skin contact viruses. You do not need to tell your partner and stats say they have likely been exposed previously anyway.

Stay safe out there.

Stats from here and here.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Why is there a lack of representation of mature (eg 40 plus) SWs in media etc when there's a fair few of us! And we bring a wealth of experiences, skills and unique perspectives to our clients and peers. (13/02/24)

ANSWER: There are a lot of reasons why we don’t see great representation of older sex workers in media both inside and outside of the industry, these include:

1. **Ageism:** Society tends to prioritize youth, and ageism is prevalent in many industries, including the sex industry. Older individuals, especially women, may face stereotypes or be marginalized, leading to a lack of representation in media content which influences perceptions of their representation in the industry.

2. **Cultural Norms and Beauty Standards:** Media often perpetuates narrow beauty standards that favour youthfulness (as well as other attributes like being cis, thin, white and able-bodied). This is magnified in the sex industry, which contributes to the sidelining of older women who may not fit the conventional image portrayed in the media.

3. **Limited Roles:** Older women are often confined to stereotypical roles in media representation, such as the nurturing grandmother or the cranky old lady, rather than being portrayed in diverse and complex roles that reflect the full spectrum of their experiences and capabilities. This media portrayal affects the perception of older women both within and outside of the industry.

4. **Market Pressures:** A perceived bias around attraction and age. Workers may assume clients prefer younger sex workers, and as a way to capture more clients, mature sex workers might conceal their age and market themselves as younger than they actually are. Clients, as a result, tend to assume some sex workers are 10 years older than their advertised age. This has led to a bit of confusion within our industry about how to represent their age.

5. **Intersectionality:** The intersection of age and gender can compound the issue. Older women may face dual stereotypes based on both age and gender, making it more challenging for them to break through existing barriers. When new ‘types’ of characters are introduced television and film writers often worry it will be confusing for viewers to depict intersectional identities, as the older woman and the sex worker are both newer ‘types’ of characters – we often get one or the other, but not both

The team at Bigger Sister Channel knows that the representation of older sex workers in media does not line up with their lived experiences, this is one of the reasons why we are taking the mic back with our Community Podcast – where we can platform sex workers of all ages! If you would like to help rectify the lack of representation of older sex workers through recording your own community podcast episode, we would love to interview you!

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: How do you deal with chronic UTIs? (13/02/24)

ANSWER: It seems sex workers often fall into one of two camps: chronic UTI or chronic thrush. For those that fall into the first camp, here are some things to consider. This is coming from a sex worker who had chronic UTI’s, could not get off antibiotics without a UTI reoccurring but who can now spot a UTI a mile away and curb it before it takes over.

Protective daily practices:
– Wash your hands thoroughly before bookings/sex
– Have a dick hand and a pussy hand, don’t let the two hands touch
– When inviting clients to shower, ask specifically that they mouthwash and wash their hands (including under their fingernails)
– Make sure all sexual partners use mouthwash and wash their hands before and after sex
– Pee before sex
– Pee after sex
– Clean your toys before and after use
– Make sure you’re changing condoms if you’re changing orifices
– Wipe front to back, not back to front
– Change your underwear daily
– Don’t use soap or any other products on your private bits. Stick to water and make sure your hands are clean before you clean yourself
– Don’t hold in your pee and pee fully

As a first line of defence:
– Learn the signs of UTIs for you, and learn to identify when a UTI is brewing, such as frequency of peeing, sensations, length of peeing etc.
– Drink cranberry juice regularly (or eat cranberries), and drink plenty of water
– Get your hands on preventative UTI medicine, supplements or naturopathy, like cranberry tablets, Ethical Nutrients Urinary Tract Support and take them proactively if you suspect a UTI is creeping up, or if you’re engaging in regular sexual activity
– If you’re drinking coffee or alcohol regularly, try to ease off until the upcoming UTI subsides

As a second line of defence:
– Get your hands on an antibacterial medication like Hiprex, to take as a response to upcoming UTIs rather than antibiotics.
– Know the timing of your UTI’s, if you take something like Hiprex, you should start feeling better within a few days, but if you don’t feel you’re improving you’ll know to start moving onto the next step
– Keep an emergency pack of antibiotics in your medicine cabinet after speaking with your doctor. Sometimes doctors can’t see you same day or next day, and the longer it’s untreated, the worse it will be
– You want to avoid antibiotics as much as possible, it can destroy your gut flora, cause thrush or worst case, you can get a resistance to the antibiotic. Take antibiotics when all other methods have been exhausted and take it as a last resort

Last line of defence:
– If you’re doing these daily practices, and being proactive with your response to upcoming UTI’s, and it’s not preventing back to back or chronic UTIs, you need to see a doctor or a urologist. There are other causes for chronic UTI’s but if you’re a sex worker, it’s usually a matter of contamination, not giving enough nurturing support for that area, and healthy practices. If you’re following these best practices and they’re not working, there may be other underlying reasons for your UTIs that only a doctor can work through with you.

Other considerations:

If you are consistently getting UTI symptoms, especially if you test negative for a UTI or your UTIs are persisting after anti-biotic treatment please get tested for Mycoplasma/Ureaplasma. This is a fairly new type of STI so it’s not on a standard screening, however it is very easily transmissible and currently on the rise in Australia. The symptoms include: pain upon urination, pain in the urethra and bladder, chronic UTI’s and the smell of ammonia.

The treatment is easy, so please get tested by asking your doctor for a PCR vaginal swab to test for the following STI’s:

Ureaplasma urealyticum
Ureaplasma parvum
Mycoplasma pneumoniae
Mycoplasma hominis
Mycoplasma genitalium

xoxo Your Bigger Sister

QUESTION: Just started FSSW and can't tell anybody, would love to make SW friends but dont know how, I feel lonely. (16/01/24)

ANSWER: Full service sex work (FSSW) can seem isolating, especially if you can’t tell anyone in your life. However, there is plenty of opportunity to make friends if you know where to look! Our suggestion would be to get involved in your local sex worker community, check out sex worker support organisations in your area for gatherings and events and see if they have any volunteering opportunities you can get involved with. If you are located in Melbourne come along to one of our Bigger Sister Channel skillsharing workshops or if you are located in Brisbane you could attend an admin day. As well as utilising sex work organisations you can find friends and community support in online spaces, create some social media profiles and follow your peers. Try to find a sex worker who you vibe up and ask them if they’re interested in expanding their social circle within the industry and respect their answer either way (some people are very private!). Of course, do your due diligence before meeting up with anyone from social media, but don’t be afraid to strike up conversations – we’ve met some of our best friends through social media, including members of the team at Bigger Sister Channel!

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: How do other workers deal with really quiet times? I feel like all I do is wait for the phone to ring. Is it true that at some stage you have to tour after staying put in one city too long (clients get sick of you)? (16/01/24)

ANSWER: Quiet times in this industry happens to us all! It’s a pain but one thats very common. Around school holidays, holiday times like Easter, Christmas, Ramadan and January for some reason. Around tax time, it’s notoriously known these are quiet times for us sex workers.

After enough time in the industry you start to know when the quiet times are coming and if you can plan around those, build up a side hustle, do some online content maybe, or have an emergency fund for them, this helps.

Quiet times are also a great time to invest back in your business, redo your website or ad copy, come to a Bigger Sister Channel workshop and up-skill, do a photoshoot or selfie session. It might be the time you need to start expanding your social circle in the industry.

Try to not just stick by the phone, go out and live your life and bookings will come. The stress of being stuck waiting for a booking is not healthy. The clients will come when you live your life, waiting by the phone doesn’t speed up anything.

As for touring, touring is expensive and I always say, if you can’t afford a holiday you can’t afford a tour. Many workers survive fine never touring, and for others it’s our livelihood. Don’t race in quiet times to feeling like you MUST tour.

If you want to give touring a chance, put out a post on your ads or socials, gather some interest and see how you go.

No harm in trying.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

QUESTION: Tax advice / resources for Australian OF creators? (16/01/24)

ANSWER: Unfortunately, there is no generalised tax advice that can be applied to OnlyFans (OF) or content creators except that we should do our taxes as our income is easily trackable. Be wary of some financial professionals because you shouldn’t have to pay more than a few hundred dollars for a tax return, and some do charge an arm and a leg if you have a higher income.

OF creators (and any other content creator) are considered sole traders, and we’re not treated exceptionally to any other sole trader. That means anything that’s work related, we can claim as a tax deduction, we just have to keep track of receipts, income and expenses.

To start getting your head wrapped around the basics of being a sole trader and meeting your tax obligations, you can listen or watch this interview with Shelin David, a chartered accountant who was a guest in our Community Podcast. You can even book in a 15 minute consultation with Shelin to see if she’s the right tax advisor for you (but keep in mind she’s on leave for January)

Further resources can be found in the Hnry Tax Resources section. Hnry is an app that deals solely with freelances and sole traders and all of their resources are catered towards sole traders like us. For resources specific for sex workers, you can view the futureproofed Tax Q&A Workshop we did with Hnry, and view some of the most commonly asked questions and answers. If you like the sound of Hnry and want to claim your expenses + have your tax automatically deducted, then trial Hnry with our BIGGERSISTER code.

It’s a bit cliche but finally, the Australia Taxation Office has some great resources for sole traders that you can read about here.

Stay tuned for our economic empowerment program where we will dive deeper into these topics.

xoxo Your Bigger Sister.

Want to support our community project?

Bigger Sister Channel is now accepting financial donations for those who share our vision and want to support our mission. Donations go to operation costs, providing free workshops, compensating expert presenters, developing peer-to-peer education content, having monthly giveaway and supporting sex workers in need or crisis.

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